It was the season of joy. The snow on the ground was white and shining, like broken glass that had splintered everywhere; It was so beautiful. The plan for the day was laid out the night before, but when I tried to get out of bed the next morning, something wasn’t right.
“What is going on?”
The room was spinning in an uncontrollable way and from the pit of my stomach, I felt a terrible sharp pain. I tried to get back into bed to steady myself and prevent myself from falling, but the pain was unbearable. I stood still for a minute and eventually was able to stagger back to bed.
It was Christmas day! I needed to be on my way to church, but it didn’t work out that way. Instead, I woke up hours later in the hospital.
The doctors were so alarmed as my temperature kept dropping and it looked as if I had been swept away by a tide, and into the ocean, trying to remain afloat. I was drifting in and out of consciousness and at this point, I was in excruciating pain.
I laid on the hospital bed and thoughts swiftly began to emerge, like a lava erupting out of a volcano.
“Where are all these thoughts coming from?”
“I am not ready!”
I cried tears of unfinished business. I thought of my family and how they would cope without me as I wept out loud. I was not done yet. I still had so much to do. I felt unprepared to meet my maker.
On the brink, I had to face the giant of death and conquer it! This was an intrusion that I was not ready for. It was Christmas day and I was facing a Goliath that was pitched squarely against me.
What do you do when faced with uncertainty?
Fear took hold of me, tears broke through me incessantly but like David, I remembered.
I remembered the God who delivered me from a car accident a few years ago. He is the same God who delivered me from postpartum trauma after childbirth and from then on, I knew:
37 Moreover, David said, “The Lord, who delivered me from the paw of the lion and from the paw of the bear, He will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine.”
And Saul said to David, “Go, and the Lord be with you!” 1 Samuel 17: 37 (NKJV)
David had been prepared in quiet times with the Lord, when he was in the backwaters of the desert, tending the flock. Goliath kept advancing one step at a time towards David, but David kept his cool because he knew whom he believed.
As I laid there, needing more blood and every chemical you can think of in the body, I could hear the doctors discussing the possibility of my end being near.
What was I supposed to do?
On that sick bed, I learned 5 vital lessons that saved my life:
- I remembered who God said I am and what His word was to me “With long life, I will satisfy you.” (Psalm 91:16)
- I told myself, “Don’t panic, you cannot afford to be faint hearted, you cannot be afraid nor entertain fear. This season of uncertainty shall pass.”
- I also learned that the experts may know the facts, but as a child of God, I know the truth of the Word. My heavenly father knows my body composition and I, far better than any expert.
- I learned to speak words of faith to counter every word of fear. I kept speaking positive declarations to counter the negative ones.
- I chose to ignore the lies and remember what God had done for me in the past. From that, I was assured that when I am not able, He is able! God is with me.
So what do you do when faced with uncertainty?
Hold onto your God!